Well.. I guess all good things come to an end   So, now for an another chapter of my life

http://kislove.wordpress.com/

chill maadi !

[Just a lovely song from a lovely friend ! ]
All my bags are packed
Im ready to go
Im standin here outside your door

I hate to wake you up to say goodbye
But the dawn is breakin
Its early morn
The taxis waitin
Hes blowin his horn
Already Im so lonesome
I could die

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that youll wait for me
Hold me like youll never let me go
cause Im leavin on a jet plane
Dont know when Ill be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

Theres so many times Ive let you down
So many times Ive played around
I tell you now, they dont mean a thing
Evry place I go, Ill think of you
Evry song I sing, Ill sing for you
When I come back, Ill bring your wedding ring

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that youll wait for me
Hold me like youll never let me go
cause Im leavin on a jet plane
Dont know when Ill be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

Now the time has come to leave you
One more time
Let me kiss you
Then close your eyes
Ill be on my way
Dream about the days to come
When I wont have to leave alone
About the times, I wont have to say

Oh, kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that youll wait for me
Hold me like youll never let me go
cause Im leavin on a jet plane
Dont know when Ill be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

But, Im leavin on a jet plane
Dont know when Ill be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

After missing out on blogging abt my Convocation (My tears, the best pic of my life and decision really really horrendous), Family Trip (tons of fun, sickness, Taj-I-Dint-Like-It effect), here I am back to that state where I start thinking abt my career decisions over and over again, till I am sure that I shud have gone for something non-conventional like journalism or mobike racing

So, I am getting a wee bit bored at home, especially cos I amnt doing anything productive at all, a wee bit tensed, no housing at US, no aid and the most worryin fact being no friends as of now. I am just hoping that I’ll have friends who wud really take care of me.

Chalo, I dont think I wud blog much frm now.. I amnt sure but blogging seems to be so boring !

Today’s fortune:
If your desires are not extravagant they will be granted

After repeated comments that I dont blog as I shud, after tons of promises that I wud start blogging once I am at California, I finally find something worth talking about.

Now, whats the key word in the whole fortune of mine? Desire, Extravagant or is it granted?

How would you define a desire as, what is a desire? Desire I would say is all the things that we want to happen, really really badly. So, its basically that each and every desire is worth a lot of effort.. patience.. *beep* Now,  whats with the extravagant part of the whole fortune, how do we know if something is extravagant or not? For someone, an MBA at Stanford might sound like an extravagant desire while for some it wudnt. So, how and who gets to decide it? Well if the desire involves more people.. more the *beep* Well do I have to feel that its extravagant becos it dint happen? Hmm.. probably thats what I am supposed to do even though I know very very well that its not that big a deal.

So, whats the point? Well the point is .. Is a dinner an extravagant thing?  I dont know !

Finally, I decide to blog. And this time its going to be a long one. Hopefully. I am on a Windows 98 machine, with a keyb that dates back atleast 4-5 years and so all that I can hear is a sqweaking sound everytime I click in.

All this is to explain the disclaimer. I am in no way responsible for all the info/comments that u are going to read in next … I dont know, its going to be long, article.. blah blah blah.

 So, I had my interview at 11 and so went there at arnd 10, Okay, Agreed I dint go there, dad forced me there. So, I go in early, get into the line first awesome ! Then, they take some documents, this that.. and fine. Now, I am 2nd in the line and feeling really good that I came in early..

Enter some old lady. Starts shouting at all the workers, says ‘I cant manage so many people, I am going nuts!’ and looks at me and asks me, ‘Whens urs?’ and I am like ‘11:00 maam’.. 11 ? U still have lotsa time, come with me.. blah blah blah and makes me stand at the end of the queue. And this happens like 2-3 times. Well probably I shud write this as a story! I am getting impatient at this moment and get all sort of wierd ideas. Just wanted to check what wud have happened if I had told the VO that I am going to US for a MS and then a job ! Indeed, an idle mind is a devil’s workshop. Thank God! The devil workshop dint last long, I found company and started talking..

2-3-4 hrs later.. i dint hav a watch with me.. so dont rmr. Skipping me having coffee thrice, talking to a really cute girl (who has 16.5 crores in assets.. I’ve her mail id ), this that.. I finally select a VO that looks liberal.. Thanks to rahul for the tips on how to get the VO we want.. worked perfect. Go, and then this is what happens.

me : (Grinning.. Oh I forgot to mention the ‘pep talk’ by Mark. Everyone going to the chennai consulate would know.. and I got to hear it twice. )

 Good afternoon sir !

VO : Good afternoon.. how are u doing… blah blah.

*I passed him the folder, he looks at my i-20 and says

VO : No aid?

me : No sir. My parents are sponsoring my education !

VO : Oh.. Wht do ur parents do?
me : Both r docs sir !

VO : Congrats, U can rot in California.

HHee.he.. I made up the last line.. he said somehting really formal.. have fun or something.. I dont rmr.. as soon as I saw him smile.. I cud clearly see California in front of my eyes.

 Now Mark is the president of the consular services or somehting.. He says its a prep talk, but its more like a brainwash to make the ppl throw away any false documents they have and this that.. Its very funny ! Second time, naah.. I felt like shouting out the jokes he said.. He says the same set again and again..

So, that and my good friend, an MBA student frm Washington St. Louis, who helped me choose the right VO and tlaked to me throughout the visa interview would remain etched in my mind forever… blah blah blah..  I Knw

Chalo.. me done blogging. So this shud silence ppl who have of late been complaining that I dont blog much these days!

California.. Get ready for me. I am going to paint u red

Its 12:00 in the night and my stupid alarm in the watch goes *beep* *beep* *beep* and so up after a long time.. Actually am glad that I woke up and can watch futball. 5 mins left and so thought chalo I wud write a blog/ edit my orkut profile.

Heres my latest one :

[Status : Started a Masterpiece !! ]

Just singing like no one’s listening, loving like I’ve never been hurt, dancing like nobody’s watching, and living like its heaven on earth.. Just having the best time of my life

At that stage of my life where I really really want to do something big, prove a point to everyone, but am too lazy to even go and get myself a glass of water !! So, whilst I continue in that libmo.. adios amigos.

I kinda like this. .and so I guess this and the profile pic are going to stay for sometime. Okay.. time for Portugal vs Germany. I like them both.. so it would be great if it rains goals..

[Status: On yet an another quest for unconditional love] All these quests seem to end with me realising that nothing comes unconditional, nothing is to be given/taken free. Everything comes with tags attached to it. Tag which do look great in the beginning, slowly showing what they really are and what they really can do. For, to gain something, you do indeed have to lose something of equivalent value. Every single thing we do, every single word we say, every single thing.. makes lots and lots of difference to the people around us. And thats kinda making me really really conscious about it all. Nirvana? Hehhe.. or as Ross puts in ‘Unagi’ Well, so now I’ve a choice and thats what is probably disturbing me so much. Choices are very very bad. Sometimes I do wish that I dont have the freedom to make the choice and that someone else decides everything for me. But I guess its time I took the right choice and went ahead in life. No point crying over spilt milk right.

Okay, so do I want to look at what the future has in store for me? If I had a looking glass into the future, would I be curious enough to take a peek? Would I dare?

Well, I dont really want to know my future. It would be really too boring to everything beforehand, the element of surprise and the grin-factor is all gone. I grin a lot, when I am really happy and those are the moments that help me survive everything else. Survive? Hmm.. thats a really strong word. I amnt in duress [not the right word, I meant stress/strain/pain.. blah blah] right now, but still I dont know I am kinda feeling wierd, really really wierd. I just want to stay back in iiit. I just am so used to the life here that I probably wouldnt want to leave this for anything in the world. Probably time heals.

Hmm.. I probably must start blogging often. Probably I would do that once I am at UCSC. I dont know, lotsa things thrru my head. This probably is what has been running thru my head this whole summer. I dont know !!

These 3 letters seemed to have played a really significant role my whole life. Think .. Think .. Think.. that being the operative word. As Maverick puts it in Top Gun, if you think, you are dead. U really dont have time to think in a fighter plane.. Most of the biggest decisions of my life have been on the spur of the moment. I really havent found anyone as instinctive as me, I really havent. Am I making a mistake being so instinctive in all the big big decisions that I take. This stubbornness of mine has indeeed cost me lots of things. But I somehow seem to be more comfortable with this than without. I dont know.. so am at home, a nice broadband.. wasting time daily with nothing to look forward for. I dont know.. life seems so still nowadays.. I somehow seem to miss that spice.. jalak in life which I had in iiit atleast for my 1st 7 sems. Omg.  not an another retrospection… had enough of that already !!

 chalo before I dvelve into the realm of the 'Unfinished Blog of my 8th sem' .. let me say Adios.

I dont know.. But somehow this word seems to ring in my head tons and tons. I've like used this word, everytime I've been ditched. Every single time. I hate things not going the way I want them to.. I dont know why .. I hate taking a NO for a answer. And so I've kinda decided that I'll have a Plan B always.. always. We'll see how that goes. That means I need to think properly, spend some quality time with friends and get out of my room as soon as possible. The more I am glued to this stupid comp (Sorry da, but I just cant help it.. I juss love u a lot, but I cant/dont want to spend the whole time in front of you.. Oh, I was talking to my comp ) .. Haaan so what was I rambling.. yeah something abt plans this that.. as usual !!

 Things I've finished doing … Got clothes, got my no-dues, started PJN project, will finish I-20s work tomm., what else is left? Haan I need to clean my room. Shudnt take much time. I guess I'll do that the day after.. Amnt sure.. we'll see. I guess I'll sleep early today.

Hey yeah forgot, went to ravishankar's house, had a really good meal and then am back to IIIT after a jounrey of 2 hrs each for n to. sare.. nenu sleeping.. tats 

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping.

They always say that shopping is far far better than a psychiatrist. True indeed. I am just back from a shopping spree, actually u cant call that a spree, more cause, I cudnt even buy half of all the things I wanted to. So, I just bought clothes. I still have to buy specs and theres lots of other stuff also to be handled.

I dont know why, but I am feeling a bit tensed and worked up. Dont seem to understand why. But, I am just thinking about so many things, that I sometimes do really really feel I need a punch-bug, someone with whom I can really really share all these things going through my head. I miss you ra. Yah I can always write them in my diary, but I somehow am too lazy to write anything there. I somehow seemed to rmr my precious little diary, the first words of which are the eternal 'I dont know what to write !!'. Only 3 people have so far written in that diary. One being me, who wrote almost all the crap except the very first lines in my book, (Ofcourse, it was 'I dont know what to write !!'), which are indeed words I'll never forget. The last being Aushutosh Rana. Now I can totally understand why you are so surprised. Does that name ring in ur head? Hes the same Raaz, Bangaram guy. He was here for shooting for a movie, me n cheddi thought that Reema Sen was here and so went there to have a glimpse of her, probably have a talk or two with her . To our disappointment all that we could find was him and I got his autograph in my diary. Oh, I just saw Bangaram today and so kinda got reminded of that.

And so whats left for me to write.. hmm. Days, Time are ticking and I dont seem to have much time left before I leave IIIT. If I have to do something, I have to do it now. But, I dont really see any point in all that. I really wish something could/would/will/shall happen. BUT, I dont seriously see anything in the near or the distant future. So, should I let go? Give up? I dont know.. Actually I dont really care. I am just going to live my life to the fullest and see to it that I have a fun filled second, minute, hour, day, year ahead.. Okay, time to hit the sack.. yeah its almost 6 in the morning !!